I Forgot How to Write

                                   
Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash

In high school, I studied Creative Writing. This entailed writing and reading and talking about writing for three hours every day. After graduation, I purposefully took a break from writing. I still loved it, but I was so spent. I needed to give my brain room to breathe. That's part of why I'm not majoring in English or writing even though I love both subjects. I love psychology just as much and I wanted to learn new things. So for a while I didn't write anything for myself. I've never read as much as the year in like tenth grade where I read 108 books. Even after I graduated high school and had more time on my hands. I started working a lot and have never had that same time and I've also picked up new activities (gaming, knitting, watching things I never got to living in the woods) that take up time that could otherwise be spent reading. And I'm mostly okay with that. 

I think I've learned that I'm the sort of person who has to be reading to be able to write. It's like it reminds my brain how words work and what sorts of things you can do with them. This is especially true since I don't write based off of anything I see in my head. The words have to be there and I have to read to put them there. I'm trying to be purposeful about reading more, but it's difficult. I have an eight month old puppy, I'm doing student research, and school in general takes up a lot of time. I really want to be writing, but the ideas aren't there. I have a project I want to work on, but I can't find the plot. I don't know anything about it and it's been stewing in my head for about four years. 

Reading and writing had always been such an integral part of my identity and I would still say they are. But they keep falling by the wayside and it's disappointing. I want to be able to write again, but I don't know how to find the words.